Whew it’s been a ride! A beautiful bounty ride and like all long rides, riddled with fatigue at the end of the journey. Atleast this journey for now and I am happy to just be in bed typing this on a Thursday instead of worrying about what I need to do, which tasks to complete and and and. Life has really been on “Go” for almost two years now and as tiring as it was at times or most times, I am truly grateful for it.
Had to go back to see when last I was here and low and behold it’s almost been a year, in January 2023 I wrote a blog saying getting back hopefully and I genuinely believed that but life had other plans, I did make two blogs last year so I guess that’s something maybe😂🤭. In all fairness, the intention was there but life. I had my internship which was amazing because of all the lessons I learned but working in the psychiatric ward can really take a toll on someone’s mental health especially at the beginning. Nevertheless, my mental muscle was exercised and now I can do it with ease.
Not saying it won’t have its problems but I know that I am better equipped for it now. Despite how hard it was in the beginning, it still remains one of the highlights in my career. I loved the experience and my favorite part is being able to formulate my own independence provisional diagnoses and in some cases a differential diagnosis as well. The psychology field is so fun and truly gives me joy. As weird as this sounds, the fact that as clinical psychologists (😂can’t believe I’m saying this) we always need to read, read and read some more to stay updated.
So as much as I’m enjoying the few days of lazing around, I am aware that I need to start picking up some books and reading more especially about the topics I would like to do my PhD thesis on. Yes the goal is a PhD. Realized I enjoy research too beyond just dealing with clinical patients so I would love nothing more than to blend the the two. I get so much joy and fulfillment from what I do and as much as I had to go through hoops to realize that psychology is what I want, I am happy I can say I found my niche. Will share the story on how I ended up studying psychology soon.
I am back now and I can say it confidently, not until I get busy or something happens but back to continue writing on my blog and learn to manage my time better so I do not neglect it. I probably sound like that partner that always promises to change but soon get back to old toxic patterns but not this time around. I believe it’s different this time around because I had been feeling some void in my heart, a missing piece and I knew it was my blog. Ended up downloading WordPress on my laptop too just so I can keep seeing the logo and keep going.
I can’t say I stopped writing because girl has been writing so much of course not blog worthy content but yes a lot of academic writing has been going on. I wrote an internship report, my dissertation and a lot of practical records. So yes, in psychology we are always writing something. I must admit I am so proud of my internship report and dissertation so much I intend to soft bind them as hard copies and keep them with me forever. Anyone that knows me knows I’m a lover of hard copy books so it’s only fair I have some hard copies of something created by yours truly.
I love writing and reading so much, I remember reading books way before I understood what the meaning of books was. I was the child that got into trouble with my mom for reading too much and not sleeping enough. I would bunk classes just to go to the library and read. In fact, I remember one of my uncles asking if I am studying creative writing when I was in my first year of undergraduate and I remember slightly regretting not accepting the offer to study creative writing at Rhodes University where I had been accepted for social sciences at the University of the Free State.
I am still not sure why I chose the latter over the former considering my love for books and written words, well mostly because I felt the subjects offered like psychological were safer choices in terms of career, I believe it was God’s hand directing me because now I get to read and write while helping people which used to be something I always said when asked what I want to do with my life. I honestly never really knew for sure what I wanted so that sounded noble but I guess at the core, it also aligned with me becausebi genuinely do care about wellbeing of people so psychology allows me to cater for that while also reading and writing.
The other day on Facebook there a post that spoke about literature review being the hardest part of research writing and some people were agreeing well most commwnt I saw were agreeing and I was one of the few that admitted to it being one of my favorite chapters then it hit me how I’m no longer just part of book reading club on social media because yes, I usually just follow book conversations, in fact, most people I interact with on Twitter have a thing or two to do with books. I realized that I’m now part of academic writing club too.
That got me really excited because it felt like I just leveled up and joined another cooler club, I mean now I get to have some comments about the struggle of writing albeit academic work but still, it’s writing. The initial title for the blog was “life lately” but I guess I will change to I’m back or something like that because I am this time around, also I thought in the blog I would share what I have been up to bit ended up rambling as always so the life lately blog will be up next week Thursday where I share what I have really been up to.
My exams ended on Friday last week and by Sunday I had this urge that I need to write on my blog, I just did not know what to write, still did not until I opened it this morning and went with the flow. I am not sure what direction the blog will take, but I know that it will be working, that it’s back to life and I am looking forward to seeing how the journey will go. Just letting go, my failure for consistency definitely stemmed from the fact that I wanted some form of definite direction which doesn’t always work, especially for me.
Sometimes I just write 