A blog post about whatever!

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I have been binging on series and just lazing around aimlessly for the past few weeks. I also cried a lot. See, I don’t know for sure whether it is because of the loss surrounding me or the fact that I am just tired. Exhausted of existing.

Feeling out of place was so foreign to me because I am a strong person. The narrative of a strong black woman has negatively affected most of us. We are conditioned to hold it together for everyone around us and that’s what I did for the whole of 2020. It would be nice if someone could wrap their arms around me once in a while. Not to tell me that everything will be fine but to just be there for me.

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I did not write or even journal which is my daily aesthetic. The last time I wrote in my journal was to acknowledge my melancholy. I rewatched Shonda Rhymes’ Scandal but only season 1 & 2 then the last season so I could see Olivia and Fitzgerald again. Don’t get me wrong, I do not condone affairs but the passion between Olitz is out of this world. A hopeless romantic like I am could not just ignore it. I just wish we got to see them get married for real🥺.

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Watching Dear White People is what got me out of a funk. I can’t believe I never gave myself a chance to watch it. It tackled racial issues, sexuality, navigating through college, and was intellectually humorous. Unlike most stuff that I watch where I always try to see myself in one character which is usually the main one, I found myself seeing bits and pieces in almost all the characters.

From Sam’s passion for social injustice to Joelle’s poised intelligence (I didn’t know what a Nubian queen looked like until I saw her, she is a goddess), Coco’s ambitious streak, Brooke’s truth searching plus I can relate to her weird quirks and Lionel’s writing together with his journey to finding himself. I also took note of great fashion! Might be four years too late but I bet I can rock those outfits for the next few years.

Concurrently I am impatiently waiting for season 4 so I can see whether Brown eyes was two-timing Lionel and D’unte which would be such a shame. I am also curious to see about the secret society that Sam and Lionel have been investigating especially now that Troy is involved. I honestly don’t know what my rambling is about or exactly what the blog is about.

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All I know is my hands were itching to type something. The keypads on my calloused fingers aroused me and I could not help but write. And writing is what I did. When I started this blog post, the title was “How I got out of my funk” and now that I am reading I realize that it doesn’t exactly align with the title hence I changed it to a blog about whatever. Thank you for taking a journey through my head with me.